Everyone wants to experience the fun of dating but it doesn’t happen with ease for all.
Nervousness, lack of confidence and composure, not knowing where to start, etc. are some common roadblocks many guys face. How to talk to girls for dummies probably features in the most commonly searched phrases on the Internet as well.
What you need to understand is that dating seldom happens randomly. You need to be prepared to handle all the different aspects of it.
In this dating for dummies guide (based on Dr. Joy Browne’s book of the same name), we have listed a blueprint that should help you get a girlfriend in no time.
Read on to get your dating basics in place!
Asking a Girl Out for the First Time
So you like this girl, but are not sure how to ask her out? Well, the first thing to keep in mind is that it is not the end of the world if she says no.
Do not take it as a judgment of your personality, as there can be many other reasons.
However, you do want to ask in a manner that gives you the best shot at it.
Here are a few tips:
Avoid Monday, Friday, and Saturday evenings for a first date. Keep it somewhere in the middle of the week, preferably on a Wednesday or Thursday. Also, for whichever day you plan it, do not ask on a Monday, as people aren’t in the best of moods transitioning from weekend to work mode.
Give her time and options
Ask a few days in advance so that she does not feel hurried into it. Also, offer her a few options in terms of when to go and what to do. This gives you a better chance of acceptance and you project yourself as someone who plans his life well.
Ask in person
Asking for a first date via text or IM is a big mistake. Asking in person is the best bet but in case that is not possible, do call her up. There is nothing to be scared of and being straightforward is something that goes well with women.
Keep it short
Cut out the unnecessary details. A short sentence that answers what and when is more likely to have her full attention. You can get to the details later.
Tips for Meeting for the First Time
It may not seem like it at first but getting a date is the easy part. Thanks to articles like these that tell you how to get a girlfriend for dummies, you will get a date sooner or later.
The real deal is making her comfortable and projecting yourself as someone she would want to see again.
These proven techniques of how to date for dummies give you the best chance of taking it to the next level:
Pick and drop
This is an age-old tip from the eternal book of chivalry. Even if you have to go out of your way, there’s nothing like picking up your date and dropping her back afterward.
Dress to impress
There is a lot of talk about how looks do not matter but in the dating world, it does. Shave (or groom your beard and hair) on the day and pick an outfit that is on the formal side.
It goes for anyone you are conversing with. Maintaining eye contact says you are not distracted by anything else and your partner has your full attention.
Pay attention to every word she says. It might take them a while to open up, but women love men who listen to them patiently.
Make them comfortable and nod periodically to indicate you are still focused on her. Be an active participant and be sure to ask a question or two about what she previously said – it’s a strong indication that you have been paying attention.
A date is not an examination. You do have to tighten a few things up in your personality but do not act out of character – she will catch it eventually. Do not try too hard to be composed – it shows and you end up sailing two boats.
Do not get too personal
It is natural to talk about personal lives but draw a line. Do not probe deep, as it can make things awkward. If your lady starts sharing things from her family life and previous relationships, be a good listener but do not be overly inquisitive unless she asks for your opinion.
Your first date does not end with you two saying goodbye to each other. A follow-up text saying you had a good time is a subtle indication of your interest in seeing each other again. In case you were not able to drop her home, text her to make sure she got back safely.
Use Technology with Caution
Technology has opened up many doors and it is common for people to meet online first. Make the full use of trusted dating portals, as it is likely to get you a date faster.
However, not everyone you meet online is trustworthy and it is very easy for impostors to trap unsuspecting users.
These tech-tips would come in handy:
- Do not share your details with someone you’ve just met online. There are messaging apps that allow you to chat without revealing your number or location.
- If the potential date you met online gets into financial topics too early, it is a clear red flag.
- Do not stalk your date on all the social media apps in the early days of dating. Nobody likes a creep. Let things grow organically and wait for the time she’s ready to let you in her world.
- Meet your online date a public place and let a family member or friend know where you would be and with whom.
- Do not post everything about you and your date online.
- Stop window shopping once you start dating. There is no end to who is available and it will only make you feel bad. It’s better to give your date your full attention and make the most of it.
Finally, a Few Online Dating Tips to Remember
It can actually work…
This is for all the skeptics out there. If you think online dating is a huge waste of time, then you couldn’t possibly be more wrong.
These services can and do actually work out for many of the people involved. There are hundreds of success stories out there with people having met their perfect matches on these services.
All you have to do is be patient. It might not happen right away, but if you are open to it and you know what you want, you are bound to find it eventually.
…but it doesn’t always work out
This fun fact, on the other hand, is for all the hopeless romantics. If you think that online dating will get your disaster-of-a-love-life together, then you might be in for a rude shock.
Yes, we just said that online dating does work; but not for everyone. Sometimes it is just not meant to be.
It’s very important to understand this point if you do not want to end up completely crushed and disappointed. The best thing to do is to have a cautiously optimistic attitude. Hope for the best but also expect the worst.
Do not put all your eggs in one dating service
There are hundreds of international dating sites out there, and they all cater to different relationship needs.
If you are interested in online dating, it would probably be best to try out multiple services. You should know that there is a dating service for everyone out there: vegan dating sites, mature dating, Latina dating, you name it!
The main reason for this is to broaden your horizons. Having active profiles in multiple sites, including international sites for dating Asian singles, significantly increases your chances of finding the perfect match.
With most services, it’s basically like a second job
Online dating is not all fun, games and happily ever afters. You will have to put in the work if you hope to be successful!
You need to set up and maintain an interesting profile and take time to go through hundreds of other profiles to find people you might be interested in. Once you find these people, you still have to invest time and energy into communication to get to know them better. It isn’t easy, but it is definitely worth it. And also a lot easier than traditional dating.
However, if you do not want to turn your love life into a part-time job, then you could invest in premium matchmaking dating services. In this case, all you do is sign up, fill in a few questionnaires and let experts do the heavy lifting. This saves you a lot of time and energy but will cost you money.
Take your time
There is no need to rush anything with online dating. In fact, the slower you take it, the better your chances of success.
Taking it slow allows you to meet numerous people and get to know them enough before taking the next step. It also saves you time. How? You don’t have to invest emotions and time on Mr. or Mrs. Wrong only to be disappointed when it doesn’t work out.
Be honest about what you want
People use online dating services for different reasons. Some want to find the love of their lives, settle down and live happily ever after. Others want a casual fling or a hookup just to pass the time. Some are just curious about what is out there.
What are your reasons?
Answering this question and staying true to yourself is one of the best ways to get the most out of online dating. It is also important to be transparent with people you are interested in to avoid disappointment or misunderstandings.
Do not share more than you should
For successful online dating, you need to be willing to be open and vulnerable. However, this doesn’t mean that you give your heart to everyone who swipes right or likes your profile.
It is important to exercise restraint, especially regarding the information you share. So, don’t go divulging your deepest darkest secrets to someone without getting to know them first.
Remember that you owe no one anything
If you have a problem saying no to people, then online dating will be challenging. This is because you will find yourself receiving attention and interest from people you might not feel the same about.
In this case, it is important to remember that you do not owe anyone anything. You don’t have to go out on a date or meet up simply because someone asked and you don’t want to hurt their feelings.
Beware of the shady characters out there
One of the most important things you need to know as a newbie in online dating is that not everyone on these sites is genuine. There are a lot of shady characters.
Some are out to play with your emotions; others are after your money. It is therefore very important to be cautious when interacting with strangers on these sites.
It’s never that serious, so have fun!
Finally, remember always to have fun. Meet new people, make new friends, and make this an adventure. Online dating will work for you in time so do not stress yourself waiting for The One.
Dating can be fun and rewarding and online dating definitely has its fair share of perks and risks. The only way to ensure that you get through the experience unscathed is by being informed and prepared.
Whether you are looking to test the waters or seeking a long-term relationship, this dating guide for dummies will help you get started with it and take things from there.
We hope you can make the most of online dating services, whether looking for love abroad or in your backyard.