One of the hardest parts of the online dating process is making the first move. It also happens to be one of the most important steps. How you introduce yourself will be what sets the tone for the rest of your interactions. Therefore, it goes without saying that it is one of those things you simply cannot afford to screw up.
So what should you do or not do? Do you just say hey? Do you go all out with a romantic declaration of interest? It is understandably daunting, but fortunately, it isn’t really a rocket science.
To help you out, we put together a few tips and tricks that should come in handy when you are coming up with ways to introduce yourself while online dating.
1. Be confident…
When it comes to drafting the first letter or first address to someone you are interested in online, the most important thing is to be confident. Confidence is not a personality trait; it’s something that you can learn. So, you don’t have to be a loud and bubbly life-of-the-party person to appear confident.
A little confidence goes a long way when it comes to breaking the ice with an online love interest. All you need is to have the guts to make the first move, no matter whether you are a man or a woman. Taking charge shows your potential match that you know what you want and are not afraid to go for it.
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2. … but not too confident
When it comes to introducing yourself, there actually IS such a thing as too much confidence. There’s a fine line between being the initiator in the interaction and being cocky. It is therefore very important for you to avoid things like being aggressive, bragging too much and showing pride. These are a major turn off and will have you unmatched faster than you can say ‘me.’
3. Use common interests as an icebreaker
So you’ve decided to make the first move; but what do you say? Knowing exactly what to say is important when introducing yourself during online dating interactions. One of the best ways to play this is by using the person’s interest to start up a conversation.
For example, if they like dogs and you like dogs as well, you could include this very convenient fact in your personal introduction. You could even go further and use a dog joke for a more fun and airy atmosphere.
You don’t really have to be interested in the same things. Simply ask a question that will allow them to express their love for the thing. With the dog example, you could ask them whether they have a dog. This makes the person you are interested in more comfortable to open up on something personal but not too sensitive. It is a great way to get started.
4. Do not use cliché opening lines
Cheesy and cliché pick-up lines don’t work in offline dating, so they definitely don’t work in online dating either. So, by all means, please try to avoid them. They will make you seem unoriginal which is a major turn off for many people.
5. Don’t be afraid to be quirky and funny
If you are naturally goofy and weird, then, by all means, let this side shine in your initial interaction. Nothing breaks the ice better than a funny joke. You could make it as simple as ‘Hey, my name is So-and-So. Would you like to hear a joke?’ and then proceed to prove your comical genius. This simple move could be what lands you the girl or the man of your dreams. However, if you are not even remotely funny, then you should probably not try this.
6. Always use open-ended questions
The introduction extends to the very first interactions with the person you are interested in. This is where you get to know a little more about them regarding who they are, what they are like and so on. The best way to approach this part of the introduction is by using open-ended questions. Phrase the questions in such a way that the answer comes in the form of a story and not an awkward and final yes or no.
7. Do not be rude, presumptuous or in any way a jerk
If you want your first interaction to be successful, then you need to avoid being rude or in any way unpleasant. So avoid things like criticizing their profiles or photos as this is the fastest way to get someone to lose interest in you.
If you are using the website for casual hookups, it is important to be upfront about it as early as possible. However, this doesn’t mean that you straight up offer the hookup before even saying hi. Take time to know the other person and figure out whether or not they want the same thing before suggesting it.
8. Don’t front; just be yourself
Finally, it is important to stay true to yourself in the first introduction. If you are not funny, then don’t try to be. If you are not serious, then don’t try to be. Eventually, your true character will show and the last thing you want is for the person you are interested in to be turned off because they thought you were faking it.
In a nutshell, just do what feels right. If you want to start with a simple ‘hi,’ then go for it. If you want to go all out with a cute poem, then go for it. Just make sure you back it up with a touch of confidence and charm, and it will work for the right person.
It can be nerve wrecking figuring out how to introduce yourself to this complete stranger who has caught your attention. However, with the Dos and Don’ts list provided above you should know exactly how to break the ice.
The most important thing is to be yourself. If you’re quirky, then let it show. If you are deep and melancholic, then lead with that. If your online love interest is someone you might end up building a relationship with, the last thing you want is to have them fall for someone you are not.