One of the hardest parts of the online dating process is making the first move.
It also happens to be one of the most important steps. How you introduce yourself will set the tone for the rest of your interactions. You see? You cannot afford to screw this up!
What should you do or not do? Do you just say hey? Do you go all out with a romantic declaration of interest?
It is understandably daunting, but fortunately, it isn’t rocket science!
We’ve put together a few online dating introduction tips and tricks to help you get noticed.
How to Introduce Yourself Online (with Examples)
Start by actually introducing yourself (say your name!)
Just as you want to start by introducing yourself early in a conversation in real life, so you want to do when introducing yourself on a dating site as well.
Even though they can already see what your name is on your profile, say it anyway! It’s courteous to say a simple “I’m Jack.”
Try an unusual greeting
“Hey, what’s up” or “how’s it going?” are, in a word, boring. Almost every other person your match is talking to will use these greetings.
If you want to stand out, you should make even a small effort to be more original in your greeting. For example, you could ask, “how’s your energy?” or “what’s something exciting that happened to you this week?” to spark curiosity.
Use their name
You should acknowledge the name of your match in your introduction as well. After all, everyone loves to hear their name!
In real life, when you’re greeting someone you know, use their name (i.e., “Hey Stephanie, what’s up?”) and notice how they perk up.
When you match with someone on a dating app, incorporate their name in your intro (i.e., “Hi Julia, I’m Jack”) and notice how they will likely become more eager in their conversation.
Tell them it’s nice to meet them
Telling someone it’s nice to meet them is one of the simplest intro lines for online dating you can use.
When you tell someone it’s nice to meet them, it’s essentially their obligation to reply. Continuing our previous example, you can say, “Hi Julia, I’m Jack. Nice to meet you.” This will increase the chances that your match responds.
Start the conversation with an open-ended question
Perhaps the easiest way to get an interesting response from someone (other than a simple “good” or “not bad”) is to ask them an open-ended question.
The question should be interesting, compelling, fun, and romantically themed. Think, “Julia, what’s the most fun experience you’ve ever had with a guy?” or “Julia, what’s something you’ve always wanted to do with a guy but haven’t yet?”
Focus on things you have in common
One way to form a good connection with someone when you meet them is to talk about something that the two of you share in common. If you’re into hiking and see that your match has posted a photo of them in boots on a mountain, you can ask them about their hiking trip and then talk about a hike that you went on recently as well.
Pick something specific from their profile
Find something unique on your match’s profile picture and ask them about it. It shows them that you actually took the time to check them out and are not just using a generic response.
Don’t talk about yourself too much
It’s okay to talk about yourself, especially in response to your match’s questions, but try to keep the conversation more on them or balanced between the two of you. If they ask something about you, answer them and then direct the question back to them with a simple “what about you?”.
Be modest (if you’re a guy)
For guys especially, it’s very easy to be perceived by girls as creepy on dating apps. For this reason, be a bit modest in your responses.
For example, asking “what’s the most fun experience you’ve ever had with a guy?” is fine, but asking “what’s your favorite body part on a guy?” may be going a little bit too far (save a question like that for when you’ve met and are more comfortable with each other).
8 Dos and Don’ts in Dating Site Introductions
When it comes to drafting the first letter or first address to someone you are interested in online, the most important thing is confidence.
Confidence is not a personality trait – it’s something that you can learn. So, you don’t have to be a loud and bubbly life-of-the-party person to appear confident.
A little confidence goes a long way when it comes to breaking the ice with an online love interest. All you need is to have the guts to make the first move, no matter whether you are a man or a woman.
Taking charge shows your potential match that you know what you want and are not afraid to go for it.
… but not too confident
When it comes to introducing yourself, there actually IS such a thing as too much confidence. There’s a fine line between being the initiator in the interaction and being cocky.
Avoid things like being aggressive, bragging too much, and showing pride. These are a major turn off and will have you unmatched faster than you can say ‘me.’
Do not use cliché opening lines
Cheesy and cliché pick-up lines don’t work in offline dating, so they definitely don’t work in online dating either. So, by all means, please try to avoid them. They will make you seem unoriginal, which is a major turn off for many people.
Avoid physical compliments
People love receiving a compliment that they’re good looking. Everyone wants to hear the words “you’re really beautiful” or “you’re gorgeous” or “you’re handsome.”
The problem with online dating is that you have not seen that person in real life yet, so any physical compliments you make could come across as a little creepy (especially for guys directed at girls). As an alternative to physical compliments, use more general compliments instead.
Don’t be afraid to be quirky and funny
If you are naturally goofy and weird, then, by all means, let this side shine in your initial interaction.
Nothing breaks the ice better than a funny joke!
You could make it as simple as ‘Hey, my name is So-and-So. Would you like to hear a joke?’ and then proceed to prove your comical genius. This simple move could be what lands you the girl or the man of your dreams.
However, if you are not even remotely funny, then you should probably not try this.
Do not be rude, presumptuous, or in any way a jerk
If you want your first interaction to be successful, then you need to avoid being rude or in any way unpleasant. Don’t criticize their profiles or photos as this is the fastest way to get someone to lose interest in you.
If you are using the website for casual hookups, it is important to be upfront about it as early as possible. However, this doesn’t mean that you straight up offer the hookup before even saying hi. Take time to know the other person and figure out whether or not they want the same thing before suggesting it.
Keep it short
The last thing you want to happen is to write a big long message that you are proud of, only to not get a reply. You want to make things as easy as possible for the other person, so they are more likely to respond, and this means making shorter comments.
Introduce yourself, make a comment on their profile, and potentially ask a question. That’s all you need to get started.
Don’t front; just be yourself
Finally, it is important to stay true to yourself in the first introduction. Whatever you do, do not pretend to be funny or serious when you’re really not.
Just do what feels right naturally. If you want to start with a simple ‘hi,’ then go for it. If you want to go all out with a cute poem, then go for it.
Just make sure you back it up with a touch of confidence and charm, and it will work for the right person.
It can be nerve-wracking figuring out how to introduce yourself on a dating site to this complete stranger who has caught your attention. However, with the Dos/Don’ts list and examples provided above, you should know exactly how to break the ice.
The most important thing is to be yourself. If your online love interest is someone you might end up building a relationship with, the last thing you want is to have them fall for someone you are not.