Ah, the hard love life of an introvert.
You have probably been called everything from shy to antisocial. Whether or not these and other terms are accurate, the fact remains that you aren’t very comfortable with new people or crowds.
And that does not exactly make finding a date or keeping someone interested easy!
That is what makes online dating so awesome:
No more facing strangers while you search for love. No more pressure to continue a conversation to which you can’t or don’t want to contribute.
Online dating and communication platforms make it much easier to meet people and find love as an introvert! So let’s see how you can get the most out of online dating as an introvert.
Online Dating For Introverts – 11 Useful Tips
Despite online dating being an excellent opportunity for introverts, the road ahead of you may not always be smooth – the challenge of interacting with new people and finding potential dates still awaits you!
To make things easier, here are eleven tips on how to carry out a successful online romance as an introverted man.
Put Your Money Where Your Heart Is
When it comes to online dating apps, there are free and paid platforms.
The main benefit of paid introvert dating sites is that the fees weed out people who may not be serious about finding love.
Being on a premium dating site means you do not have to worry about going out of your comfort zone for something that won’t last. There are also significantly fewer people on these sites, which is ideal for introverts.
Make an Effort to Create a Good Online Dating Profile
First things first. Make sure you have a good profile picture uploaded. This picture is the first thing your potential match will see when scrolling through prospects, so make sure it looks nice and like yourself. To help you choose the best photo for your dating profile, have it rated on PhotoEval.
Secondly, include some interesting facts about yourself. Talking about how you ran a half marathon for the first time last year or just became an uncle are things that make you stand out.
Find Common Ground When Reaching Out
The most significant challenge you need to anticipate with this process is initiating conversation.
Making the first move is generally left to either the guy or the girl with these platforms. However, showing a little machismo wouldn’t hurt your chances of success.
When you start the conversation, make sure to only do it with girls who share your interests, which you can find on their profiles.
It is not enough to just be attracted to someone. If you go in blind, you can find yourself stuck and at a loss on what to say when she responds.
You can read this article that teaches how to introduce yourself on a dating app.
Become Friends First
You could finally break the ice! Now it’s time to become friends. Get to know them and try not to appear desperate. Ask them about their interests and see what kinds of things you may have in common.
Keep it casual if they seem unsure but still show interest in seeing you again. Ask them out for a lunch or coffee date until you know things are heading in a romantic direction. Then you can step up your dating game.
Don’t Get Carried Away With the Self-Expression
Introverts get a bad rep as far as expression is concerned. If you are one, you know better than anyone else; it is all about the medium. In this case, nothing can open you up more than online writing channels.
Introverts tend to get carried away when opening up an email or text. Expressing yourself is ok. Just be careful not to cross over to the dark side, aka conversation tyranny.
Be Yourself
Avoid trying to put up a front as much as you possibly can. Trust me – there are many women out there who pine for the mysterious introverts. So, you do not have to pretend to be chatty or the life of the party to impress anyone. So, be honest about being an introvert; it’s best for both of you.
However, make sure you stand your ground and check out what not to compromise in a relationship.
Introvert vs. Extrovert – Who Is Your Ideal Match?
If you go for scroll sites or dating apps for introverts where you are doing all the heavy lifting, you need to figure out what you want.
Do you want an extrovert to cover up your social deficits?
Or do you want a fellow introvert?
There is no fixed formula for choosing, and it all boils down to personal preferences. Once you have decided, look for clues on profiles and bio descriptions before making a move.
Focus On Your Strength and on What You Know
Staying true to yourself is very important when it comes to dating introverted guys. If you are a geek, then let it shine. If you are weird and quirky, then lead with it. It makes it easier to sustain the relationship long-term as you are in your element.
Try and Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
It is important to take online dating as a learning experience and an opportunity to grow. Be open to new ideas and step out of your comfort zone every once in a while.
No one is asking you to come from wallflower to the life of the party. Just be open to letting go of a few of your hard-set introvert habits.
Force Yourself to Take Action
You’re going to have to leave your comfort zone to find someone. Ask for a second date before the first one comes to a close.
If you still need to get the first date, ask them to do something you may not normally be up for, like trying sushi for the first time if you know they like it.
Remember, You’re in Charge of Your Love Life
You don’t have to do what everyone else is doing to find love. Be yourself, but be open to trying new things that you may never have thought about.
This could not only open you up to new opportunities and people, but you might find someone you never even thought would be your type.
How to Have a Successful First Date as an Introvert
You finally got a match and have a good feeling about the person you are chatting with online. It’s time to prepare for your first date, and here’s what you need to concentrate on:
Understand What Makes You Likable
Even the worst human in the world has something good to offer!
So you have nothing to worry about. I’m pretty sure you are awesome and have tons of qualities you aren’t even aware of.
Introverts usually have a hard time asking people to describe them. However, your trusting friends should be able to tell you all about your best traits.
If that’s still too hard, simply ask yourself what you like most about yourself and build your confidence from within.
Choose Unique and Fun Activities for Your Date
Are you dreading the awkward silence that inevitably happens on every dinner date between people who are just getting to know each other?
If so, you might consider organizing an activity-based date. That way, you won’t have to talk for hours and will focus on the “experience.”
Here are a few fun ideas that are guaranteed to give you the best time:
- Adrenaline-packed activities such as paintball, laser tag, or a theme park
- Performace-based shows like stand-up or a play
- Group activities like a dance or cooking class
But Avoid Situations That Lead to ‘Unknowns’ and Anxiety
Although pretty self-explanatory, almost no one (except another introvert) will give you this advice.
Meeting a stranger or someone you barely know in a romantic setting is already nerve-wracking, so there is no need to meet in a new environment, which will add to your anxiety.
Instead, try to avoid adding to the “unknown” by choosing an outfit you already know makes you feel and look good or a restaurant you’ve already been to several times and you enjoy their food. Be prepared to not be awkward on a date.
Prepare Yourself Before Your Date
There is nothing wrong with getting prepared for your date.
Trust us, even extroverts and social butterflies sometimes prepare a few questions when meeting new people.
And yes, standing in front of the mirror rehearsing your lines might be too much, but you can still come up with a few topics you know your date would love to discuss.
Another trick is to ask more questions than give answers. That way, you’ll shift the focus onto your romantic interest.
Don’t Hide Your Quirks
We all have them, so being a little nerdy or having an eccentric pastime is not a big deal. These are the things that make you unique and interesting.
If you are going to date, they’ll need to know about the things that make you happy, but don’t get carried away.
You don’t need to put everything out there right away. Find a playful way to tell your date about your hobby, like making rocket models out of Lego.
Be a Good Listener
Introverts are infamous for being reserved and often quiet. However, that’s not because they don’t have much to say but because they don’t like being in the spotlight.
That’s absolutely okay as long as you stay active in the conversation, and you can do it by listening closely to your date and showing interest in the topic.
Don’t Try Too Hard, Have a Good Time
First impressions matter, but trying to dazzle your date is not the point of your romantic encounter.
On the contrary, most people are impressed by originality and confidence. So stay out of your head and be yourself as much as possible.
After all, you should have fun and not give yourself an anxiety attack because you don’t sound cool enough.
Accept That Things Can Be Awkward
As we already said, dating (especially first dates) can be quite awkward. After all, you have no idea who this person is or whether you have anything in common.
The goal here is to make a connection; if there isn’t one, it’s not your fault. You simply weren’t a great fit to begin with.
Relax, Don’t Overthink
You must be thinking, “Easier said than done,” and you are probably not wrong.
Unfortunately, introverts tend to overthink things unnecessarily, which can ruin a great connection.
It’s been 2 days since they texted last, and you are immediately wondering if you are being ghosted and creating the worst-case scenarios.
Relax, you are awesome! If they are not the one, someone else will be. We promise!
Best Dating Sites for Introverts
Dating.com
This introvert dating site is a great way to meet singles from all over the world.
You can filter people based on their location, interests, hobbies, and even lifestyle habits.
You have multiple communication options to chat with potential matches and make a connection. Dating.com even provides ways for you to send gifts to each other!
Coffee Meets Bagle
This introvert dating app helps you narrow down people with the same interests as you.
It works with algorithms to narrow those interests down and then releases a list of potential people to date daily at noon.
Suppose there is no match, no big deal. You will be sent a new list the next day at noon!
Anomo
Anomo is a great dating website for introverts if you want to avoid meeting someone based on looks.
Instead of a profile picture, you each have an avatar, and they offer gaming together as a great way to get to know each other before you meet.
This way, you can see what similar interests you have before getting together for the first time. It also allows you to establish a connection and get comfortable with one another.
Bumble
Bumble is another popular dating app for introverts and is unique because only women can make the first move.
Many people today prefer modern dating options, such as using a dating site, so who says men have to make the first move?
Make sure your profile looks good so that you draw the kind of attention you want!
Hinge
Hinge is one of the fastest-growing dating apps in the United States. They pride themselves on being unique by asking you specific questions that will help pair you with someone just right for you.
Hinge also follows up after the first date to see how it went. If it doesn’t go so well, they will work with you to find someone that is a better match.
DatingInspector.com also reviews great dating sites for introverts and shy people. Just check it out!
eHarmony
eHarmony is a subscription-based dating site that caters to serious daters who are looking for a committed relationship or marriage.
With over 66 million users from 200+ countries, eHarmony is one of the world’s largest and most successful online dating platforms.
Thanks to the RelyID sign-up process and long question-based matchmaking, there is a good chance you’ll find your perfect match using the eHarmony services.
Creating your profile is free, but if you want to make the most out of this site’s best features, we recommend investing in a premium membership.
Cost breakdown:
- 1 month: $59,95
- 1 year: 19.95/month
Single and Shy
If only there were a dating website for introverts. Oh, wait. There is!
Single is Shy is the perfect online matchmaking platform for sky guys and girls who have trouble connecting to like-minded people.
Compared to the rest of the dating “giants” on this list. S’n’S has a smaller user base, resulting in less precise location-based searches.
This online dating site focuses on more traditional dating, so you won’t find many LGBTQ members.
You can test the site for free, but your best bet is to spend the extra dollar on a premium membership.
Once you upgrade to a paid plan, one-month subscription costs $29.95, but an annual subscription of 11.95/month is the most cost-efficient.
OkCupid
Last but not least, the popular OkCupid.
Even though it doesn’t strike you as THE platform for introverts right away, having a community of over 91 million users, OkCupid is destined to help you find your perfect match.
The site uses advanced algorithms and tons of math to pair you with the people you have most in common with – whether it’s pure fun or a committed relationship.
The best thing about OkCupid – it’s more than a dating site. It’s a place to share your stories, interests, passions, photos, and everything else you feel comfortable sharing with other members.
Signing up and creating your profile won’t cost you anything, but if you want to communicate freely with other members, you should consider a paid membership. Here’s the cost breakdown:
Basic Membership:
- 1 month: $11.99
- 3 months: $7.99/month
- 6 months: $5.99/month
Premium Membership:
- 1 month: $23.99
- 3 months: $15.99 /month
- 6 months: $11.99/month
Final Thought
Online dating can is an excellent opportunity for introverts to find true love and connect with others. By putting in the effort to create a good dating profile and reaching out to potential matches who share common interests. You can take advantage of the convenience and comfort of online platforms to find and build relationships.
Keep in mind that it’s important to be honest about being an introvert to your potential match. This way, you can align with personal preferences and boundaries.
I hope these tips will help you and other introverts successfully navigate the world of online dating and find love!