Do you feel stuck in a toxic union and dream of starting a new life away from all the problems?
If so, below, you will find some helpful advice on how to walk away from a relationship that’s not serving you anymore.
People stay in dysfunctional relationships for many reasons, but most of those reasons stem from fear. Fear is a paralyzing feeling, but if you desire true happiness in life, you will need to face your demons and reclaim your power.
And one of the first steps is to get out of your unhealthy relationship or marriage.
How to Know When It’s Time to Walk Away: 9 Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
There are many potential red flags that can signify that your relationship has turned toxic. Here are 9 clear signs that you need to consider to determine if your relationship is worth saving.
#1 You are more often sad than you are happy
In the beginning, your relationship felt like a fairytale. You were extremely happy and in love; you used to share everything, good and bad. You used to look at life with joy and excitement, and keeping the relationship alive seemed easy.
But not anymore. Something has changed. Problem over a problem, and before you even knew it, pain took over your relationship.
Not that relationships are always smooth sailing, but you deserve to be happy in love and feel valued and appreciated. If you choose to scroll your feed over spending quality time with your partner, it’s probably best to re-evaluate your relationship. This I love you, but I’m not in love with you situation must be tiring.
Knowing when to walk away from a relationship can be life-saving. Just know that your current partner doesn’t have to be your forever soulmate.
#2 They are pathological liars
Have you noticed the trail of lies wreaking havoc in your relationship? Does your partner resort to lying every time they open their mouth?
Whether this is a compulsive reaction or a deeply rooted psychological problem, you shouldn’t stay in this toxic relationship that ruins your emotional and mental health.
Lies are the biggest enemy of trust, and trust is a bridge that burns fast and easily. They say that if you don’t have trust in a relationship, you don’t have anything. And don’t get me wrong, they will try to apologize, and it will sound sincere and genuine, but a pathological liar feels only sorry they got caught!
Pay more attention: if you catch them lying over and over again, you may need to walk away from your relationship and claim your power.
#3 You are tolerating instead of enjoying your relationship
According to science, the “honeymoon phase” lasts between six months and two years. And while the romantic “butterflies” have a seemingly short lifespan, real feelings of love and affection can last forever.
Naturally, the more partners meet each other on a deeper level, the more they learn about one another’s flaws and virtues. You’ll find some traits more acceptable than others, and you will have to figure out whether you can live with their flaws or not.
The problem arises when you start tolerating your partner’s bad habits and unacceptable behaviors rather than falling in love with their true self.
Walking away from someone you love is never easy, but if that someone doesn’t contribute to your happiness, you might need to move on and find a better match.
#4 Physical intimacy is rare, boring, or predictable
Physical intimacy is an integral part of most romantic relationships. It helps partners grow a deeper bond that, if based on love, should become stronger with time.
People can have different sexual preferences and appetites. Some enjoy regular intimate moments, and others find more value in other aspects of their relationships.
However, it’s a major problem if your intimate life becomes nothing but a tedious chore. Sex improves a relationship in so many ways — from reinforcing your connection to boosting self-confidence.
Don’t buy into the belief that couples lose interest in sex over time. Whether you’ve been together for a year or a few decades, you still need some physical fulfillment to maintain a healthy relationship.
Nonetheless, if you as partners used to be on the same page regarding sex, and now it seems like your relationship is one-sided and you are in two different books, it may be time to walk away.
#5 You are being gaslighted
The infamous “gaslighting” is a psychological kind of abuse and a huge sign of a lack of respect. If your partner makes you feel like you can’t trust your senses and instincts because every disagreement is all in your head, chances are, you are being gaslighted.
It will leave you confused, anxious, depressed, and unable to trust yourself. The moment you feel your partner is gaslighting you is when it’s time to walk away from a relationship.
#6 They enjoy making you jealous
Are you the one always chasing after your partner? Do you often get the feeling that you are never enough? Does the one you love enjoy making you jealous and keeping you in suspense?
If that’s the case, you better run for the hills.
There can’t be fulfillment and happiness in a relationship where the partner gets off, making you feel like you are less than them.
So, how to know when to walk away from the relationship? Ask yourself, is this relationship giving me loving peace? If the answer is ‘No,’ you know what’s next — the door!
#7 The future never comes
You keep talking about building a life together and making all these plans for the future, but it seems like the future never arrives. Month after month, year after year, there is no progress in your relationship. You never take the next step. Progress, or the lack of it, is the ultimate “stay or walk away” relationship test.
#8 They are always the victim (in this and past relationships)
Being together for a long time, we often find out about our partner’s past relationships and why they fell apart. If they often drag their exes through the mud, blaming them for every misunderstanding they ever had, it means your partner is not mature enough to reflect on past events and learn from them.
Playing a victim is a serious issue. It’s a form of manipulation to avoid taking responsibility, and who would want to be the guilty one all the time?
Walking away from a relationship can tear a hole in your heart, but sometimes it’s the best thing you can do for yourself.
#9 You’re always the one making compromises
Making compromises in relationships is inevitable. After all, we all come with our wants and needs. But for a relationship to be successful, both partners need to consider each other’s feelings and what they want in life and figure out how to fit all of that into their personal goals.
Making compromises (and sacrifices from time to time) helps build a strong relationship, and these acts should always come from both partners. However, if you notice that you’re the only one who gives up on what you want to make the relationship work, it could be a sign to walk away.
Other unhealthy signs to look out for in a relationship include:
- Your partner takes you for granted
- There is physical abuse
- You’re in a relationship with an immature person
- Your partner has commitment issues
How to Walk Away From a Relationship
If you are wondering how to walk away from the love of your life, maybe this person is not what you imagined them to be.
Here’s how to empower yourself to freedom:
#1 Learn to distinguish love from lust and attachment
Not everything that shines is gold. In the same way, not everything that feels like love really is love. Look for signs she doesn’t love you anymore.
Sometimes, couples get stuck in a loop and turn their relationship into a comfort zone. You convince yourself this person is your soul mate, the one that will fight for your happiness. But could they be only a habit, someone you share great friendship and chemistry with?
Ask yourself what it is that you are getting from this relationship. What need of yours is this partner fulfilling? Is there a chance you are just afraid of ending up alone?
#2 Understand that you can’t change anyone but yourself
Staying in a relationship just because you believe you can change a person and change them for you will only bring more pain and suffering. It’s a vicious cycle that’s hard to break from. Give up on molding your partner into something they are not. It almost always backfires.
The sooner you understand you can’t force a change upon anyone else but yourself, the sooner you can start working on becoming the best version of yourself. It’s either you learn to walk away or get ready for plenty of disappointment and unmet expectations.
#3 Put your dreams first
Unlike popular belief, prioritizing your dreams is a healthy practice that will help you achieve your goals in life. There is nothing selfish about putting yourself first.
Take a moment and envision your life five years from now. Where do you see yourself? Who is by your side? Does your current relationship have the capacity to give you the support you need to make your dreams come true? Is the current drama serving you in any way?
Remember, other people’s inferiority complexes, fragile egos, and low self-esteem are not something you should be dealing with.
#4 Find support in your friends and family
The pack is stronger together. Things can get tough and rough when you are about to walk away from someone you love. Don’t just tough it out; there is no need for you to go through all that turmoil alone.
Your family and friends will always be there to support you, and you shouldn’t feel self-conscious about asking for help. Even if you don’t have anyone close enough to confide in, you can always seek help from a trusted counselor or therapist.
#5 Work on creating a better life
May your new life be your first thought in the morning and the last one before you go to bed. See yourself glowing and growing. Imagine the life you always wanted and work on making it a reality. Even if you are still stuck in that life-sucking relationship, never stop dreaming of a better tomorrow.
It’s okay to walk away…
Walking away from someone you love is never easy, but it is probably for the best if the building blocks of this relationship are not unconditional love and support.
Your newly acquired freedom may look intimidating, but you will soon learn to navigate the waters as long as you make yourself your priority. Give singlehood a chance, and when you are ready to get back in the saddle, you can always try the latest dating app. They seem to be all the rage right now!