Always the single friend
For as long as you can remember, you have always been the single friend. You went to school dances with your buddies, never got invited to double dates, and always showed up to couple dinners alone. You got in love with your best friend but you did not know how to tell her you like her.
The fact that you have never been in a relationship may or may not have bothered you back then. However, as you get older and more is expected of you, it becomes harder to ignore the reality of your uneventful love life.
And here you are now in a sort of emotional crisis. Is there anything wrong with you? Are you missing out? And is there anything you can do to change things?
Is there anything wrong with you?
You are probably thinking to yourself, “There is something wrong with me because I’ve never been in a relationship.”
Oh, honey, you couldn’t possibly be further from the truth!
Not having a remarkable dating history does not mean that there is anything wrong with you. A lot of factors play a role here.
Sometimes it is terrible timing where the opportunity came up when too much else was going on in your life. Other times, you still hadn’t built up enough confidence to go after what you wanted. It could also be that you have been healing from some old wound.
Whatever the case, it is not your fault. Scratch that – it is not even a fault. Love happens when love is supposed to happen. It might sound a little wishy-washy, but it is the truth!
If you have decided that you are finally ready, and this is your time to find love, then here are a few tips that should help you get out of your rut.
Figure out what is holding you back
If you have never dated before, there is probably a good reason behind it. Maybe it is because you suffer from cripplingly low self-esteem. It could be that you have been hurt in the past and are afraid of history repeating itself. Maybe you just never saw the need to put yourself out there.
Understanding what it is that has been holding you back is important when it comes to moving on. It allows you to take a more targeted approach to ensure that you get to where you want to be in your love life a lot faster.
Dating someone who had never been in a relationship might sound weird for some people, but you should know that it concerns more people than you think!
Let go of the past
It could be that you grew up in a broken home and never really saw what true love looks like. Or maybe you had your heart broken by someone that you thought you had a chance with.
Whatever your history has on you, you need to let go if you have any hopes of having a relationship. That will help you learn how to trust, and free-fall and love doesn’t happen any other way.
Get out of your comfort zone
Sticking to your comfort zone has not worked for you so far. So maybe it is time to try something different?
Get a new hobby that exposes you to a new group of people. Start getting more involved in projects around you that physically get you out of your comfort zone.
In short, just put yourself out there. You do not have to hang up your introvert flag to do this, but the effort will make a difference in your life.
Work on your self-confidence
One of the main reasons so many people remain single for long is because they don’t think they deserve love. Sound familiar?
If this is you, then you need to understand that you deserve love and happiness just as much as the next guy. And don’t you ever forget that. Work on loving yourself and building your confidence. When you know what you want, believe that you deserve it and have the guts to go for it.
Focus on self-growth
Sometimes, all you need to do to find love is to stop looking for it. Just take time to work on yourself:
- Reconnect with old friends
- Meet new people
- Work on your career
- Get healthy
- Go back to school
As you do all this, you will build up your self-esteem greatly. It is also a way of putting yourself out there. Who knows? You might end up finding your first girlfriend or boyfriend at that gym you joined or that crafts class you enrolled to.
Consider online dating
If the reason you have never had a relationship is that you do not know where to meet singles, then online dating is for you. There are all sorts of platforms from niche sites that cater to specific lifestyles to endless options, promising variety, and lots of choices.
So, find one that suits your needs, sign up, and start your journey of love. Some people really find true love on dating sites.
Is love really in the cards for you?
“I’ve never been in a relationship before, and I’m not sure it is in the cards for me.”
Yes, it is! That old saying that there is someone for everyone is not a load of bull. It is as true as relationship advice can get. So work on yourself, live your best life, and do not be afraid to take the leap of faith and put yourself out there.