When the love bug bites
Falling in love with your best friend can go one of two ways. It could end up being a dream straight out of a Hollywood movie that ends in a beautiful relationship. Or it could end up being a nightmare on Awkward Street if your best friend doesn’t feel the same way.
Either way, if you find yourself in this predicament, you will realize pretty fast that taking the risk is better than suffering in silence. How you choose to deliver this potential friendship shattering news makes all the difference.
But you probably have no clue how to tell your best friend you’re in love with her, huh? Don’t worry; we have your back! Below is all you need to know about telling her the right way.
Find the right timing and setting
Should I tell my friend I like her? Is the timing right? Is she available?
These are crucial questions to ask yourself. I mean obviously, it would be wholly inappropriate to tell her when she is in a relationship. The choice of timing will seriously affect the outcome, so be careful about it. Look out for signs that she likes you.
The setting also matters a lot. Doing it in places that mean something special to the two of you could increase her chances of responding positively.
Gauge her feelings towards you
Before you go blurting it out, try and figure out whether or not she would be receptive to such a revelation. That would help spare you a lot of pain down the line.
How does she relate with you? Has she ever referred to you as just a brother? Has she every completely negatively overreacted when someone assumed you were a couple?
These clues will help guide you on whether or not to break the news to her. Needless to say, if the forecast seems dismal, then it might be harder for you if you choose to proceed with ‘project open-heart.’
Maybe she relates to you as a crush but she might not be in love. There is a big difference between crush and love.
Test her with some subtle moves
If your history together doesn’t give you enough clues, you may have to set things in motion yourself. Teasing her and initiating delicate contact could help you figure things out. Try to be affectionate and loving.
That is, of course, assuming that your relationship doesn’t already include flirty touching.
If she seems to welcome you playing with her hair or leaning on her shoulder, then maybe things will turn out great. And if they thought at least, you will go into the reveal with some confidence, albeit unfounded.
Bring up the conversation hypothetically
“Imagine if you and I dated, that would be interesting, right?”
It is a safe way to play it, but it works. Think of it as a test run with a safety net and a bunch of airbags. Just don’t be too forward about it to the point where you make her suspicious.
Find a way to bring in a bogus scenario of the two of you together and listen to her reaction. You could even make up a story about some friend or cousin of yours who fell in love with their best friend and see what she feels about it.
Prepare yourself for any outcome
Remember that this could go either well or poorly. I have heard many “I love you but I’m not in love“stories.
Part of preparing to tell her is acknowledging and accepting this fact. That way, you will be able to find smart ways to do it and to move on afterward.
Have someone else do it
If the thought of facing your best friend is too daunting, then have someone else to it. If you have a mutual friend that you can trust with this, then you can come up with a wise way to have the news delivered.
One way to do it would be to have someone tease your girl BFF about how the two of you would be great together. You could also get someone to tell her that you like her, but in a maybe-he-does-maybe-he-doesn’t kind of way to be safe.
Let it all out
It’s a big day. You did your hair all nice, wore your best cologne, and are ready to pour hour heart out. Make sure that when you get to her, you leave nothing inside. Tell her not just that you love her but also why, for how long and what you would hope. It might be the only chance you get to make your case, so do yourself some justice.
Do not put her under pressure
When figuring out how to tell your best friend, you like her; it is vital to avoid ultimatums or exceeding expectations. You do not want her to feel under any pressure. And while it is essential to state what you would like to come out of it, you need to let her know that she can do whatever she wants and you will be ok with it.
Give her time and space to process
The final tip on how to tell a friend you like her is to back off. Whether or not she feels the same way, she will need time to take it all in. Let her. And when she is ready to give you her response be warm and open.
All the best!