Got a case of the warm fuzzies?
There is truly nothing that can compare to the warm fuzzies you get when you have feelings for someone. It could be a crush on a random stranger that smiled at you in the coffee shop and then asked for your number. Or it could be your wife of 10 years who annoys you all the time, but you still love with all your being.
But exactly what’s the difference between love and a crush?
What is love?
Honestly, there is really no way to summarize love into one definition. But we will give it a try.
To put it simply, love is a deep positive feeling you have towards someone. It makes you drawn to them. It makes you want to spend more time with them. It makes you want the very best for them.
Technically, love comes in many different types depending on the subject. It could be family love towards your brother or a long-time friend. Maybe it is the love you have for your furry little buddy and all his puppy goodness. However, in this case, we will be focusing on what is typically referred to as romantic love.
What is a crush?
While love is typically a deep emotional connection, a crush is often a shallow and temporary infatuation with a person. It is usually based off very surface level information like what they look like, how you both order the same coffee every morning or the fact that she plays the guitar.
Crush vs. love; what are the practical differences
Now that we have the specific definitions out of the way, it is time to look at the actual differences. How can you actually tell whether what you are feeling for that person right now is love or just a crush? Well, here are 6 tell-tale differences.
How it hits you
Love is a slow and precise process. It comes slowly at first then hits you all at onc, and you are a goner. This is because to love someone truly you actually have to get to know them. I know you’re probably wondering to yourself right now, “But what about love at first sight?”
Well, I’m glad you asked. That right there is what you call a crush. It doesn’t matter how strong the feelings are or the power of your conviction that he/she is the one. Crushes hit you fast and hard so if you feel something that fast do not call it love.
How long it lasts
Remember the definition of the word crush? One of the key terms there was ‘temporary.’ That is a major difference here. This is not to say that love always lasts forever. Jeez, this is not a fairytale; it is life!
However, true love does tend to last a whole lot longer than simple crushes. This is because there is a lot of time, emotion and intent invested in making it work.
The driving force
Love is driven by a desire to be together through everything whether good or bad. At the very heart of it, all should be a strong friendship foundation which makes this perpetuating force work.
With crushes, on the other hand, there really isn’t a distinct driving force. You like the person for no good reason and will continue to do so until some random and almost always irrelevant thing stops you. Maybe it is how he ties his shoelaces. Or how she always sniffs her food before she takes it. Crushes are fickle like that.
What do you want from them?
With love, you want your partner to care for you just as much as you care for them. You want to spend as much time with this person as you can spare. You want them to be honest about who they are and open about what they want from you.
With crushes, on the other hand, you probably just want one thing; for the other person to notice you and probably like you back.
What do you want for them?
Love means wanting the best for the other person. Even when that means that you have to lose them, it means being ready to sacrifice your comfort and needs to help them achieve whatever they want. It could be moving with them to a new country as they pursue their career dreams. Maybe you might have to give up meat as she tries this new vegan diet she heard about.
With crushes, it is unlikely that you ever think of the other person’s needs. Don’t worry; this doesn’t mean that you are a monster. It’s just how crushes work. If you do wish them well, it is likely because of your general human nature.
Your perception of the object of affection
When it comes to true love, you do not see your partner through perfection filters. You see them just as they are; flaws and all. And despite all that you still want to be with them and show them as much affection as you can.
With crushes, there is a tendency to see this person as a saint. They can do no wrong. Sandals with socks? He makes it work. Chewing with her mouth open? Aaw, how adorable.
To summarize the difference between crush and love in one sentence: the former is a feeling, and the latter is a verb.