First date magic
Going on your very first day can be a very daunting experience. On the one hand, you are excited to finally go out with this person that you have been getting to know. On the other hand, you know there is a possibility that it might not work out leaving you exactly where you started.
The last outcome is of course not desirable, but it is sometimes inevitable. It is also better to know on the first date that you are not compatible than to waste each other’s time and emotional energy only to find out later. Determining whether or not you are a good match is all about the questions you ask. Here are 7 of them that should get you started.
Seven questions you need to ask
How long have you been single and why?
First thing’s first, you need to establish whether or not your date is truly on the market. Unless of course, you are ok in which you can go ahead and skip this question.
However, if you want your man or woman all to yourself, this is a question you definitely cannot afford to leave out. It lets you get an idea of whether or not the person has healed from previous relationships and whether they are ready for a new one.
What are you looking for in a partner?
Knowing what you are after allows you to establish whether you are both a match by identifying traits in yourself that he or she may be looking for. If everything they describe is everything that you are not, you might want to start looking elsewhere.
It is also important to let them finish without interrupting in an attempt to offer yourself up as an option. The last thing you want is for them to describe you as their perfect partner simply because they knew that is what you wanted to hear.
What are your some of your flaws?
Awareness of your flaws is a very important question to give you an idea of what you are getting into. Probe for the juicy stuff and do not settle for fake modesty answers like ‘I am too generous’ or ‘I work too hard.’ The question should be open to both flaws in relationships and those in general life.
What are your pet peeves?
Knowing about your pet peeves helps you figure out whether there is anything you do that may put your date off. It could be that your date cannot stand the feeling of styling gel on hair or they hate tardiness. You need these answers so you can prepare yourself in advance and adjust your annoying behavior if there is a need for that.
Do you think you are ready for a commitment?
Trust me, you do not want to waste your time with a commitment-phobic person unless you are one yourself. And if that is the case you do not want to be stuck with someone who is constantly pressuring you to get into a relationship with them. This question is the only one on this list that requires that you are both on the same page.
Where do you see yourself in X number of years?
It could be a year, three, five or even ten. The answer here allows you to identify ambition and focus on your date. There is no correct answer here, but it is always a more positive sign if the person has an idea of what they would like to do with their lives. This particular question matters a lot for goal-oriented people.
How do you spend your weekends?
Again, you do not have to have the same interests. However, if some of their pastime activities check your pet peeves list, you shouldn’t consider a second date.
Compatibility is no similarity
Before you go on that date, one more thing you need to understand is that compatibility does not mean having everything in common. So if he likes to go out on the weekends and you are a couch potato, it does not mean you cannot make it work. The important thing is to understand all the good and bad that will come from a potential relationship with the person and deciding whether you can live with them.
So the next time you go on a first date make sure to arm yourself with these very important questions. It may seem intense at first, but it will save you a lot of trouble down the line.